Revised Personal Statement

by annex50

My first personal statement was too over-the-top.  Though I am sure this revision has flaws, I feel that it is better.


December 3,1987 is when my developmental progression hit an embattled and impenetrable wall.  This date prescribed a stumbling hurdle toward self-identification.  I cannot present a new chapter without acknowledging the conflict that demanded my life to turn the page.  My mother passed away at the age of 34.  She lived a life full of empathy and passion.  Passion thrusts an individual into an escape from a mundane reality.  My mom, Linda is her name, found her passion within her horses.  She transformed this feeling into demonstrable achievement winning several show awards and sharing these experiences with others.  I aim to carry on her legacy and to live and demonstrate my passion.

As a child, you are often left without a choice.  Tragedy throws a strike and you must swing wildly if you are to learn to reflect.  I chose to live my father’s dream when I left my childhood home and decided to pursue an engineering degree at the University of Florida.  However, I embraced my freedom at the expense of academic scholarship.  Staring at a 1.7 GPA without a financial buffer, I decided to drop out of school and pursue my entrepreneurial aspirations.  I created several interactive Internet websites selling products.  This brought financial success but became very unstable. I had to make a change. I knew that I needed to complete what I neglected and decided to return to the University of Florida.  This time, I chose a degree that combined my interests in business and technology.  I chose to pursue the degree of Decision and Information Sciences.  I was able to dramatically improve my GPA and graduate with Honors.

Confidence in my perceptive and analytic ability could not overcome my inexperience and misguided approach toward professional initiation.  I was unable to acquire a job within my field of study but did find an opportunity to become a General Manager for a new restaurant.  This taught me how to build a business, overcome financial hardship, and develop a cohesive team.  I continued to advance in the management of hospitality operations but felt that something was missing.  I felt that my analytical ability was not being challenged and I wanted to lead others in a field that I truly felt inspired by.  I decided that I needed to fuse my business leadership and success with my passion for human understanding and advancement.  This is the reason I enrolled in the psychology program at the University of South Florida and was able to achieve a 4.0 GPA.

I want to discover and relate to others what guides our decision-making and how that decision resonates within our self-concept.  To gain experience in this pursuit, I joined Dr. Eric Storch’s team from the University of South Florida at the Rothman Center to gain research experience.  I have aided in the assessment and study of obsessive-compulsive spectrum disorders.  I have conducted statistical analyses and reports in SPSS and have compiled and researched references for several research projects.  I am also involved in a geriatric OCD study and have initiated my own study in regard to dermatologists’ assessment of body dysmorphic disorder.  I researched BDD extensively and realized that there was a real gap in its diagnosis and treatment.  Those who would likely be diagnosed with this disorder never seek a psychologist; they seek dermatological and surgical practitioners to “fix” their physical appearance.  Unfortunately, this only leads to short-term satisfaction.  This pointed toward the need to educate and evaluate the assessment procedures implemented by dermatologists and plastic surgeons.  If an evidence-based psychological approach can help an individual avoid extreme and risky physical alteration, then the research is worthwhile.  This is why I initiated the study.

I want to pursue a PhD in Industrial/Organizational psychology at the University of South Florida because of the elite status of the I/O program, exceptional faculty, and extensive research opportunities.  I would like to apply my knowledge and experience gained in my clinical research toward the study of I/O psychology.  Here are three of my current research interests that I hope will align with the research interests of USF faculty members such as Dr. Paul Spector and Dr. Edward Levine.  My first research interest is to study the effect of employee personality and behavior on job performance.  Secondly, I would like to study career motivation.  I would like to investigate career motivation as a construct related to measuring oneself against the self-perceived accomplishments of social peers.  Thirdly, I would like to research employee selection and it’s correlation with one’s selection criteria for friendship.

I believe I have the drive necessary to make an impact in Industrial/Organizational Psychology at the University of South Florida as evidenced by my academic success, research experience, and personal obstacles overcome.  I intend to contribute and advance the research objectives of this university and hope that you will grant me the opportunity to demonstrate my abilities.  This university is where I want to cultivate my career path toward research and organizational advancement.  As a future university professor, I will be able to impart the knowledge and opportunity given to me by the University of South Florida to our future leaders and innovators. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.